Trek

In about February/March, when I thought that it was clear to most that I was pregnant, a member of our bishopric called and asked if he could meet with Josh and I. We're both relatively new to our callings, so we figured that we were going to be speaking in church. No clue whatsoever that they would call us to a be a Ma and Pa for Trek! But yes, that's exactly what happened. Josh quickly said, "Well... Kaleena is pregnant..." and then we both looked at each other, and said at the same time that we thought it would probably be fine. The counselor asked us many times if we were sure, and said that they would totally understand if we turned down the calling. Then Josh figured out that I would be about 32 weeks, and then the counselor really kind of started trying to talk us out of it. Come to find out, he and his wife were a Ma and Pa for our stake trek 4 years ago and he ended up needing an IV. I told him that we would double check with my doctor, and if she gave us the go ahead, we would plan on it.

 

None of my pregnancies have been as miserable as many people experience, and this one has been my easiest by far, so Josh and I really had no doubt that I would be fine. We got the green light from my doctor. (Funny story: When we asked her about going on trek, she asked which one we were doing, and when we told her, she said, "That's not even a bad one. You'll do like 5 miles a day max." That gives you a little taste of how my doctor operates.) Plus, we took into account that trek was going to be about 20 minutes from our house, the first week of June before it got really hot.

 

I thought it made total sense. And apparently I was the only one.

 

The weeks leading up to trek, almost everyone I talked to told me how crazy I was and proceeded to tell me horror stories that they had heard or experienced when they were on trek. My brother-in-law questioned why trek is even a tradition in the church and compared it to Jews reenacting the holocaust. When I was in college, I called my parents to ask them if I could go to Mexico for Spring Break, and they answered "Absolutely not!" To which I responded, "Actually I'm on the border right now. Just wanted to let you know I'm going to Mexico for Spring Break, and I won't have service for the next week."

Aside from that experience, I think me going on trek 32 weeks pregnant is the most upset my parents have been with me in my adult life.

 

I decided to just be very cautious, and if I had any warning signs, I would take them seriously. But there were none.

 

As Ma and Pa, it was our job to get in contact with all the youth that would be in our trek family, and make sure that they had all the information they needed, and were prepared for trek. That was probably one of the most frustrating things for Josh and I. We didn't have the right phone number for some of the youth. We would tell them information, and then the Stake leaders would come back and tell us something different. We tried to plan a pre-trek get together several times, and there was always a conflict. So when we finally met 7 of the 8 youth that would be in our family, and had a little get together at our house, Josh and I felt a little more at ease, and got a little more excited. We were setting some ground rules for our family, and asked for their input. The first comment from one of the boys was "No complaining." Yes! Awesome! I like where this is going, and after talking about a few more things, one of the girls said, "I think we all genuinely want to be here. No one is being forced, so that will make a big difference." And I think she hit the nail on the head. I said to our youth, "Obviously, we had a very good reason to turn down this calling, but we didn't, because we also genuinely want to be here."

 So we rounded up our supplies, met at the church and headed off. One of the most frustrating parts about trek was that it was a lot of hurry up and wait from beginning to end. There were 40+ families that each had roughly 10 people in them, plus other leaders and company captains, and it's just hard to organize that many people. And basically when one handcart had to start, everyone got held up. So it took a good part of Monday the 6th just to get started.

Monday's trek was supposed to be easier than Tuesday's. I decided that I would go along on Monday, and if I had any signs of problems, I would stay back on Tuesday. We also had a girl in our group that had broken her leg a couple weeks before. So she was on crutches, and we had a special cart for her to ride in. Meaning we were basically 2 people short, and had one extra cart right from the get go. But our whole family talked about what a privilege it was that we got to have Kylie (girl with broken foot) in our family, and the opportunity to help her along.

 On Monday, the trek really was no big deal. The weather cooperated really well: it was kind of cloudy, sprinkled a couple times, never blistering hot. And the terrain was mostly flat. So I felt totally fine the whole time.

 We made it to camp, ate dinner, had family home evening, and then the stake had dancing and games that night.

 See Kaleena in all her pregnant glory. Yikes! The only thing that makes pioneer clothing more glamorous? Big round belly!

 

Then there was Tuesday....

We had heard that the trek was going to be much more difficult. The weather was looking hotter.  And they said that Kylie's cart couldn't go the whole course. So the day was supposed to start off with the women's pull (only women allowed to push the carts), and then I was told that some leaders would meet us there, and bring Kylie back around the other way, so she could meet up with us again on the second half of the hike. It was assumed that I would do the same thing. But I couldn't decide. I really felt totally fine. I didn't see any reason that I wouldn't be able to complete the whole thing. I would make sure to stay very well-hydrated. They wouldn't let me help push the cart anyway, so I was just walking, and I've been active this whole pregnancy, so I had no doubts. Plus, I felt like if I didn't do it, I would miss half the experience, and I had already gone through that much effort, might as well finish. But I was torn whether I should stay with Kylie.

 

I started walking toward the women's pull with all the other girls. A nurse that was part of the stake's medical staff, called out "Where's my 32 week Mama?" So in front of everyone she pulled me aside, and said, "You're not doing this." To which I disagreed. But she was firm and told me that under no circumstances could I continue on trek. She said, "I did not bring anything with me to deliver a baby here," and also explained that if something happened at camp, she could get me to the hospital fairly quickly, but if I ended up on top of the mountain, they couldn't get me back down. So I conceded that I would do the women's pull, and then when they brought Kylie back down, I would too.

 

As I continued walking, a couple minutes later, the Stake President's wife stopped me, and said that she was under strict orders from that same nurse that I needed to stay back with her. I explained the conversation I had just had with the nurse, and she very hesitantly let me continue on.

 

As I started up the mountain to the actual women's pull, a doctor on the medical staff stopped me and said, "What's your plan for today?"

Me: What's my plan for today, or what's everyone else's plan for me?... Because I really feel fine and feel like I could do it. But I think just me being here is stressing everyone else out.

So the doctor and I talked it out. He asked how I had done yesterday, if I was having any contractions or complications, if I was staying well-hydrated, how my other pregnancies have gone, if I had talked with my doctor about it. He finally said, "Well, your doctor knows what your pregnancies have been like, and she gave you a release, and you know your body... So I'll probably get in trouble for saying this but I think you should be able to make the decision."

 

Thank you! I agree.

So I finally decided that I was going to continue along once I had talked to Josh about it one more time. I was still torn because of Kylie though. I wanted to make sure that she was taken care of. And if they needed me to be with her more than continuing on, then I absolutely would.

 

The women's pull was really cool. The men and boys all lined both sides of the top of the mountain where the women's pull would end, and stood silently with their hats on their chests. The hill was really steep and there were a lot of groups (kind of like ours) that didn't have a ton of women, so when one group would finish, some of the girls would go back down to the bottom to help the groups still coming. But it was really hard for a lot of the girls, and I think some over-exerted themselves. There ended up being some that needed an IV, or a blessing. There were many that started feeling sick and needed some time to recover and get rehydrated. (Josh had played "I Have/I've Never" with our group as a drinking game the night before to make sure our group was all well-hydrated. I thought it was brilliant and really helped our group.)

 

By the time I reached Josh and saw tears in his eyes, I started crying too, partly because of the scene, and partly because I was overwhelmed with the decision about continuing on or not. It made my decision easier though when I turned to find Kylie, and realized they had already taken her back down the mountain. So I continued on with my family, and I was really glad I did. The mountain was so steep and rocky, and it was so hard for everyone. But it was incredible to see everyone working together and stepping up when they needed to. Our family really was always in good spirits, and not complaining just like they had promised. It was hard for me, being a mom, and always feeling like I have to take care of everyone else, and pick up the slack, but I wasn't allowed to do anything but take care of myself, and make sure everyone else was staying hydrated.

 

It took a long time to get to the top of the mountain, and by then our lunch break was much needed. The entire day, every 5 minutes, I had someone asking me how I was doing, when the last time was that I had something to drink, if I needed to sit down, saying that they were so impressed that I was even there. To be honest, I felt pretty lazy compared to what these teenagers (and Josh) were doing.

The second half of the course was flat or downhill which was a different challenge. Plus, we got stopped 4 times along the way to have a teaching moment-which were so good and inspiring and needed, but by the end of the day, we were so hot and sweaty, that I think everyone just wanted to finish as soon as possible.

That night we had dinner, played some games with the Stake, had a testimony meeting with our little family, and played mafia. By the end our family totally loved each other, and had bonded, and everyone talked about how we were put in the family that we were in for a reason.

On Wednesday, we packed up, played some very hot games in the very hot sun, and had a devotional where I Stake President spoke. Everyone was so ready to be done by the time we got back to the church, and I was ready to see my real-life kids again (after a much needed shower of course!)

I thought the experience was so cool. Josh and I both just couldn't say enough how much we liked our family and what good kids they were. They definitely had their quirks and we liked to tease each other, but they were just good kids-willing to help, no complaints, interacted with each other well. It was amazing to me to sit back and think about teens throughout the world, and the way they spend their time, and then to see hundreds of teens in our Stake who sacrificed so much to just go and have a really pretty miserable-but very uplifting experience.

One of my favorite things about trek was just the chance to spend more time with Josh. We're celebrating our ten year anniversary this year, and every time we get the chance to be just us, rather than being parents, we get closer, and I realize again why we're married and why I chose him to be with forever. It was so fun to see Josh in his element, with the youth, stress free, and I remembered all those things that attracted me to him in the first place. The kids loved him because he can talk to anyone and make everyone feel good and feel comfortable around him. He's such a hard worker and always willing to help those around him in any way he can. It also helped both he and I to focus on and appreciate each other a little more rather than always focusing on who is letting who down because we can't be on top of everything all the time.

I'm totally glad we accepted the challenge. I am super glad that I did not have my baby on the mountain, even though I never really thought I would. It was definitely memorable for everyone involved.